Practicing Patience

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In my deliberateness to practice more blatant acts of kindness, I am also practicing patience. I’ve decided that doing so helps me stay focused on being kind to people because living in a city with constant motion and scads of people, it is often difficult to be patient.

Here’s where and with whom I’m practicing:

1. On the subway platform as I am waiting to enter a car

2. With people pushing strollers

3. With people who stop in the middle of the sidewalk to check there phones

4. With inequities and unfairness in my job

5. With slow walkers or tourists

6. With technology

7. With people who just don’t get it (i.e., that there are other people in this world that have real problems)

What I’m doing to be patient:

1. Breathing

2. Walking slower and mindfully

3. Empathizing with people who are aggravating me

4. Talking to strangers

5. Smiling and greeting people 

6. Being deliberate with certain exchanges and interactions

7. Waiting to respond to emails that I want to fire back at

8. Being present 

9. Holding back on the corner instead of stepping out before the light changes

10. Walking slower

I’m hoping that I keep these practices going because today I found it hard! I know everyday is different, and hopefully tomorrow will be better! If there’s something you do that I should add to my list and try out, let me know!

Why Do We Apologize When We Cry?

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Why do we? It’s so silly. Crying is natural yet we say “I’m sorry” as soon as we start crying, like there’s something wrong with it. Do we apologize for drinking water or going to the bathroom? Of course not, because these are parts of being human.

I’ve had a few instances recently that I think warranted some tears for various reasons – frustration with my passport snafu, happiness when seeing my husband in Singapore, sad part in a movie. Whatever the reason, I’m not going to apologize for tears that need to be cried anymore.

We’ve all been told to stop crying at some point when we were growing up. Yes children’s tears flow for very different reasons than those in our adult lives. But the truth is, sometimes we just need to cry to feel better at any age.

At least as adults, we usually have valid reasons for shedding tears. But sometimes we need to let the tears roll just because. Why stifle it or be embarrassed about it? Crying isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of being comfortable with your emotions, being human; a sign of strength in knowing that it’s okay to feel. So go ahead. Do it! Cry! And don’t apologize! I bet it’s harder than you think.

So It’s Dark, Who Cares

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Well, I do… but I’m trying to get over the dislike of the dark morning and value this time as mediative or a time to be productive.

I hate (and I don’t use that word often) dark mornings when I have to get up before I’m ready, but this week I have been finding the dark mornings somewhat comforting. A time I almost look forward to. I’d say it’s because the city that doesn’t sleep, does actually sleep in my neighborhood and I quite enjoy the quiet of it.

I like going for groceries or getting coffee before people come out and make the day noisy.

I revel in the quiet buzz of traffic before the honking starts.

I enjoy people’s morning moods, as they are still waking up before the stress of the day begins.

I take comfort in knowing that the time is mine. No one impeding on my morning thought stream for at least a little while. No voices or demands, just the white noise of my air purifier. I can chose to participate with the world at this time, or not.

I hate dark mornings – I said so this morning. But now thinking about that nice time I spent laying in the dark, letting my mind wake up, thinking insignificant thoughts, waiting for the light to come – I was missing what could potentially be the best part of any day. So I’m going to learn to like dark mornings. Love is a strong word, but maybe one day I will love them.

The Reason I Can’t Sleep

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It’s probably not exactly the reason you may think… yes, I’m a little jet-lagged but I have been finding it harder to go to sleep recently. I’m an eight-hour sleeper usually so this six/seven-hour business is throwing me off! After some pondering, these are some reasons why:

1. I don’t want the day to end/I’m not ready to start another day

2. I am thinking about all the things I want to do

3. I want to read

4. I want to watch a movie/TV

5. Time is going too fast so sleeping means that more time is gone (translation – getting older!)

6. I’m over-tired

7. I’m afraid I’ll miss something, good or bad

8. I’m on my phone

I’m sure most of you can relate to at least half of these! What’s keeping you up at night?

Restored Belief

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Let’s face it, the world is a huge mess right now: backlash against the police, non-peaceful protesting, shootings, hostage situations, and on… Luckily for me, I feel like spending time in Singapore has restored my belief in kindness and humanity.

Having time away from NYC and being able to spend time getting to know some new communities reminded me that there are places that can be peaceful, even in a large urban center.

My belief in the kindness of people has been stored…

How refreshing for a government agent to understand your circumstance and try to make things a little easier for you by giving you a few extra minutes at the counter to get your things together.

How lovely that people can just wait patiently in comfy chairs for their numbers to pop up on the screen at the post and government offices.

How peacefulness watching traffic flow without the constant blowing of horns.

How novel having a cashier that actually smiles and greets you because she enjoys her job.

How deliberate people are to leave the particular seats open on the train for people who really need them.

How calm a crowd can be, ensuring that everyone is enjoying themselves.

Of course I’m not saying there is no kindness in New York; it just seems few and far between when you go to a place where it’s so prevalent. Now that I’m back in the city, I’ll look be looking more diligently for that kindness. I want to keep my restored belief in people. But when I feel that belief diminishing, I will be the kindness and humanity, in the hopes that it will restore other’s belief in it too.

 

Just 11

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Just 11 more clicks and I’ll reach 7,000 visits to my little blog.

Thank you for reading! It’s been fun sharing, reading comments and gathering followers. I promise, lots of stories to come!

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Just Keep Running

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Welcome 2015!

It might be the first day of a new year, but of course it’s just another day really. No need for resolutions if you take each moment as an opportunity to be great.

Anyone make a resolution to up your miles? No resolution here …. That’s why I not sweating being about 13 miles short of the 900 mile mark on my Nike+ app before January 1st… okay, I did sweat it a little. I made a secret goal with myself. Close enough right? I guess. The miles will be in within the next few days so I’m not getting caught up in not making the goal, I’ll just keep running! The only person that cares is me anyway! Goals or milestones mean a lot; resolutions… I think I was clear about those last year.

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Enjoy your day and make it what you want it to be!