Pick Up Your Garbage Chump

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One of the things that really irritates me is when people throw their garbage on the ground or out the window of their car. Hello, this isn’t the ’50’s-’80’s anymore chumps. I can’t believe people still have the nerve to do this.

Not once, but TWICE today I witnessed this act of environmental and societal defiance! I wanted to pick up that garbage and fling it right back and ask how they liked it… but of course I didn’t… only in my Walter Mitty moment.

The first time today was on the drive to work this morning. This chump parent was idling his car outside a charter school I won’t name, waiting for … I don’t know … the kid that was nowhere in sight to enter the school? Regardless, the chump just rolled down this window and threw a bag of garbage out the window! Outrageous! Grrrrr! I wanted to jump out of the car and shove that bag right back in his window … insert Walter Mitty moment … but I didn’t.

The second time was on the subway ride home this afternoon. This chump in his 20’s I’d say, was sitting at the end of the bench I decided to sit on, enjoying a Hershey’s Cookies n Creme bar. Yes, I noticed because I was deliriously hungry. So he finishes eating it and throws the wrapper under the bench! What? No you didn’t! I sat there hairy eye-balling him for a few seconds… I was thinking: should pick it up? … say something? … insert Walter Mitty…

… but then I didn’t have to. This equally-as-aggravated lady sitting across from the chump told him to hand over the wrapper so she could throw it out at the next stop. Thank you! Ah! My savior! And she said it with just the right amount of snark and disdain. He just handed it to her like she was his mommy.

That woman saved me hours of aggravation and rescued his sorry ass from being a litterbug – the foundation of a dirty and disgusting society. Ick.

After she got off the train, he opened his can of Ginger Ale and sipped away. I hoped he wouldn’t finish that drink before I got off… chump.